Me 66 , H 67.  He's a serial cheater (found out by accident in 2003, long story) Separated. Mom died in 2005.  I went to IC for years. MC was pointless but H did the "pick me dance", children were a mess, mom, brother and sister died and before I know it its 2022.  I find Classmates messages to deb on my Mac, messages, about sex, loving each other, making plans, bad mouthing me.  The usual stuff.  I felt PTSD sick for weeks, came back to empty this house so I can sell it.  Want my money.    Two weeks ago, I am on my Mac and ofcouse I find evidence that the affair with deb has been going on for at over a year, perhaps 2019. ( I also found the most disgusting porn. )  They were making plans while I was supposed to be in recovery room but surgery was postponed.  They were pissed they couldn't talk.  I was so sick, had to go to the ER for infection treatment. So surgery postponed.  Now scheduled for the breast surgery 9/6. Great timing. Finding out deb and bob were involved in many ways and for much longer than i thought (H says "I don't remember. It wasn't important, blah, blah) Another DDay, all too familiar PTSD like symptoms again.  Anyway, I'm doing NC as well as I can. H won't leave the house. I am beginning to be worn down by h's narcissist crap.  I need to keep calm, carry on, sell this  house & move near my daughters, ( at their request). Any words of advice, wisdom, experience, regarding NC while in the same house, PTSD like trauma I'm feeling ( never really got over it), how to keep my eye on the prize which is sell and give myself options while becoming a Grandma!