Pooh (original poster new member #86564) posted at 5:59 PM on Friday, September 12th, 2025
I was not only betrayed by my husband of 28 years. But also my close friends. He had affairs with nearly everyone I hung out with. I never expected any of this. Now I feel like I may never trust anyone again. I’m not sure how to move forward.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:44 PM on Friday, September 12th, 2025
Welcome to SI and sorry for the double betrayal. There are some posts pinned to the top of the forum that we encourage new members to read. There are some other good ones with bull's eye icons that I've bumped that are helpful. The Healing Library is at the top of the site and is another place with some excellent resources.
At this point, please practice lots of self-love and self-care. Please see your doctor and get tested for STDs/STIs as there are some nasty diseases out there. If you think you may be depressed, have anxiety or trouble sleeping, ask your doctor for some help. Whether there are meds or supplements, they can discuss that with you.
If you can, IC (individual counseling) with a betrayal trauma specialist can be very helpful. My second therapist was a betrayal trauma specialist and met my treatment needs better than my first therapist.
You have suffered trauma, and it will take time to heal.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Pooh (original poster new member #86564) posted at 6:58 PM on Friday, September 12th, 2025
Thank you. My doctor is amazing. I did testing first thing. Started Prozac and Xanax. It’s been a year and I am still struggling. Honestly, my story has a lot more details. My husband is currently in jail waiting trial, a 14-year-old accused him of sexual abuse. When that happened, that is when I found out about all of the other things. Honestly, I feel like I’m still finding stuff out every day. I have been with him since high school. I just never would’ve guessed he could do these things.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 9:06 PM on Friday, September 12th, 2025
So sorry. I'm very sorry that you had to find out that way.
There's a thing we call the emotional rollercoaster, and it will pick you up and take you for a ride when you aren't expecting it. It's nice to have a place to say, "Is this normal?" and have people say that it's normal and provide some of their experiences.
We also have a saying: Take what you need and leave the rest. Some people have had different experiences, so use what works for you.
There's also a forum on books (sometimes movies/TV will pop up), where you can see other people's opinions on certain books or ask if anybody has read (insert title). For me, books were difficult because my concentration was shot so I watched a lot of YouTube videos.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:40 PM on Friday, September 12th, 2025
I am so sorry for you.
Please take care of yourself.
Sending you a virtual 🤗 hug.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
