BW 52 WH 54 29 M, 35 Together 2 PA's, Sexting DDay #1 2003 PA with COW DDay #2 10/26/2016 6 mo PA with client Plus sexting, and flirting constantly. ugh.

I’m back and My 21 year infidelity ordeal is over.

Hello all. After almost 9 yrs since my last dday my wh is at it again. It is really crazy. I told him that he is a very disturbed person to do this to me and, really, himself again. He’s not admitting anything but I saw a notification from a woman he was having a convo with. It had a thumbnail photo of her. Blonde, smiling woman. I ask him who she was. He said all kind of things including "I don’t know." "It’s probably a client" and " She’s nobody." Funny thing is, we’ve been here before and those are all things he said about his last affair co-conspirator. Where’s the transparency he promised and has been living all these years upholding? So, after feeling upset and kind of in shock, I called a friend and quickly got it off my chest and then went to dinner with wh and my 3 adult sons. We are on a family vacation visiting my family that live here in Hawaii. I told him I’d be friendly and normal on this last trip with our sons, but that’s all. I talked to him about moving some of the lovely desks he’s not using at his office to our home so I can use them in my sewing room. He had wanted to use that room as a pantry but I said that he won’t be living there anyway and I never wanted that to be a pantry so… He looked at me very shocked and asked "Where will I be?" Seriously??? We are not doing this AGAIN. I never should have stayed with him the first time but I had 3 little children, and our youngest was only 1. He begged and I caved. The last time he threatened suicide and I got scared and I stayed. I learned so much from coming here. And I realized later that it was manipulation and as the time passed, I just continued to stay. Recently, he has started to show classic signs. Going to the gym, tanning salon, no sex and disappearing with odd excuses. My youngest son (22) has just started making comments that dad disappears a lot and whenever he calls him, he never answers but calls him back a few minutes later. Same old crap he used to do. I even confronted him a couple months ago. Now I just feel stupid. But, it’s not me, it’s him. That I know. He’s damaged and he can’t be fixed. I just don’t know why he kept me for another 9 yrs. Who the f does that??? Oh, I know. Dickheads like him. I have to laugh because it’s ridiculous. How sad to end up this way.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m back. Can I join this club again. 🤷‍♀️
It’s going to be a long couple of weeks on this vacay, but I have been in therapy since 2016 dealing with this, so my coping skills are good. I had terrible PTSD. I really didn’t feel good for about 7 yrs. Him? The guy with the problem? He quit after not even a year. I’m feeling indifferent and in a way I’m relieved. It’s over and I don’t have to regret staying the rest of my life wondering if I made the right decision. I obviously did not so I’m moving on. I’ve been with him since I was 17. 41 years. What a dummy.
He may open his phone and prove me wrong but that is a very long shot and he hasn’t done it yet and he’s snoring away in bed so pretty sure that ship has sailed. The man I thought I married has been gone for years and the new guy looks like he was full of bs.
The good things are: we have a good life so I will have a roof over my head and my boys love me.
Thanks for reading.

9 comments posted: Friday, September 12th, 2025

Utility bils.

How do I get utility bill history from over 5 yrs ago?

TIA

0 comment posted: Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

How to find out who lived in an apartment in 2007?

Hi! There is an apartment linked to my WH'/ name from 2007 but we didn't live there! Anyway I can see who occupied that apartment in 2007???

TIA!

5 comments posted: Thursday, February 16th, 2017