good advice?

Been a while since I last visited this site. I don't want to offend anyone but I want to say something to anyone looking for advice after finding out a spouse has been unfaithful. Take what you read here with a grain of salt. I think this forum is useful, people need a place to vent, but it seems to me a lot of the advice given here suggests there is only one way of dealing with a cheating spouse. I see in posts people scolded for not reacting a certain way to their spouse or the affair partner. Many seem to suggest there needs to be consequences for the WS and their AP as if healing can't happen until justice is served.

No one thing is true for everyone. Many would disagree. For example, if the affair partner is married, do you tell their spouse of the affair? I suggested caution, think about the impact on their families, kids, also innocents whose lives would also be ruined. Well that didn't go over well here. My point being there was no room for a different opinion, you MUST tell the spouse. Well I didn't. Did I do a disservice to the other spouse? I don't know, maybe. But I decided not to for reasons I considered carefully.

So I say again, be careful how you use any advice you get. Consider it, but think it through, decide what is right for you. Yours is the only opinion that matters when deciding how you react to what's happened to you. When all is said and done we have to decide what kind of person we want to be from here on out. I believe making peace with yourself is more important in the long run than holding other people accountable for hurting us. So, I hope you can find peace, I think happiness will follow if you can. Best of luck.

27 comments posted: Friday, December 20th, 2024

good advice? (moved to General)

  This Topic has been moved to General

0 comment posted: Wednesday, December 18th, 2024