notperfect5 ( member #43330) posted at 5:20 AM on Tuesday, December 31st, 2024
For those who know my story- married 25 years…post covid caught my WH in his new found hobby of prostitutes…..over a course of 3 months….Im one of the "lucky ones" no gas lighting, no trickle truth…he broke down- admitted all and immediately when on a path to healing ( IC, courses, reading, stop drinking, started exercising, full transparency ) I think we trauma bonded the first year while also trying to protect our college aged kids.
We are now at 15 months post DDay and I feel nothing. I have no desire for intimacy and just want to be left alone.
15 months is really early. It normally takes 2-5 years to work through this. Mine was 5+. At 10 years now, it has not so much bearing on how I think and feel, day to day, so give it time. Most days I don't think about it. Married 32 years myself. It is good that he had zero feelings for the prostitutes. It is good he gave you a full confession. It is good he didn't blame you. But then why does it feel so bad? Because infidelity is soul crushing and no matter how you bash it, nothing but crap leaks out.
Take care and I wish you the best in your healing.
Me: 55 BH Her: 52 WW - Edith12
DDay 8/13 EA, fake R
Turned PA on 4/27/14 and fake R
PA during MC and my IC and her IC through 12/14
Polygraph on 4/30/15, TT 5/5/15.. TT on 10/4/15, 2nd Poly and TT 11/17/15
DD's 23, 21, 18, 15 DS
