SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Soooo. I thought i would post something that lots of BS can relate to and to give a good laugh. I also want to encourage others to post those moments where you were able to laugh at this shit.

About the time he was starting his affair, the weaponized incompetence went full throttle with Xhole.

One of the things he did was to "forget" to pay the electric bill. I had asked him to take some of the load off of me by paying the bills that I couldn't set up for automatic bill pay. We had only three, cable, internet (it was separate at the time), and electricity. Well, to teach me a lesson, he "forgot" to pay the electric bill. I noticed the warning statement when it came in and reminded him he still hadn't paid the electric bill. He told me he didn't know how to set it up for the bank to pay it (even though I'd shown him 2x already). Cool. My response? "Then stop by the office and pay them in person, it's right next to where you work. Even though the office was literally the building right next to where he worked, he had the audacity to ask me to drive 11 miles to pay it because it was too inconvenient to handle that day. I told him I couldn't do it today and it was getting shut off tomorrow. "Well what do you expect me to do," he said. Me, "Uhm, don't know. Figure it out. The electricity is getting shut off tomorrow if you don't pay it today. I just don't have time and I also 'forgot' how to pay it online." He thought i was bluffing. I waited him out for 2 weeks. He finally caved and paid the bill. MF'er, dont mess with me, I grew up poor, dirt poor. Going without electricity for a month a few times a year was normal if the folks had to choose between rent and food or electricity. Besides, unlike him, we had a gym in our facility with really nice showers. They even had a steam room. It was like hitting up the spa! As for food, I went to the dining facility in our building. Meals were $6.00 and set up buffet style (I was military), so all i could eat. Not only that, we had one of the best dining facilities on base!

I brought my uniforms and put them in the locker. I'd work out, shower, change, grab a hearty breakfast, and report for duty a little early!

Give me your stories of the shit your WS tried to pull in order to control you while they were in the affair. Doesn't even have to be weaponized incompetence. Just post where you took empowering steps to get control back over the crazy!

[This message edited by StillLivin at 11:08 PM, Thursday, January 9th]

Well, I learned that if he didn't like what I cooked for dinner, he'd go in the kitchen to make something and leave a big fat mess for me to clean. Globs of peanut butter or mayo, coffee grounds all over the counter, etc. So, I got to the point where I'd ask what he wanted before cooking dinner.

The last few years we were together, I'd ask him what sounded good for dinner. Crickets... So, I'd ask again only louder because we're getting older. Sometimes, it would be 3 times before he'd answer.

Finally, when I asked if he'd heard me, he said that he did. I asked why he didn't answer. His response? I didn't want to. One of his jerk moves.

Sooo….my H came home one night and admitted to the affair. Made it seem like it was nothing.

He then proceeds to start treating me like dirt. Real nasty stuff.

It started with the day after Dday. It’s 4th of July. Scheduled to go to a BBQ. I am in NO shape to go anywhere or do anything. I was sitting in the floor of our bedroom sobbing and he steps over me and says "see you later I’m going to the bbq". And left.

He then went away in a week long trip with our church. I borrowed his iPad for a meeting st our church. We are looking to schedule some dates for future committee meetings and I open his calendar.

I see the OW’s name and her birthdate on his calendar. Then I see the birthday e-card he made and sent her.

I had to remain complete composure with my pastor and close friends sitting right next to me. 🤪

He comes home from the church trip and announces he’s D me. No warning. No discussion. He’s checked out.

He thought he was going to call the shots and decide how things were going to go. He’s not actively doing anything to D but is basically cheating right in front of me and expecting me to take it.

Thankfully 6 months later at dday2 I was a very different person. And I was planning to D him. He was completely blindsided by me. Now he knows how it felt.

Leafields, my ex left the kitchen a huge mess because I refused to cook after he was being an asshole. His family was coming to visit for a few days. He forgot I went to the field that morning for 2 weeks. His mom and dad fussed him out for being so nasty! Guess he though i would clean up. I had no clue he'd even left the mrss until I got home 2 weeks later and his mom called me. She apologized for raising a lazy, nasty pig! FA&FO.
The1stWife. Sounds like he pulled his head out of his ass and worked towards reconciliation eventually. Mine was also blindsided, even though up to the night before he eas threatening to leave me in the morning and file for divorce. He was bold. F'er was actually mad and raging at me after he was served.

This is a great thread.

My WW told me she cheated because I wasn’t a good husband.

Maybe.

But now I know I’m at least better than some of your husbands.

Jeeez.