LittleRedRobin23 (original poster member #84806) posted at 11:32 PM on Thursday, January 9th, 2025
Maybe I’m a sucker for pain, but I was scrolling through our messages around D-day and the few months we were separated but were messaging and I was hysterical bonding so we often had sex still….and I came across a screen shot he sent of a text when he was living back with his folks and he said (referring to me) ‘she wants me back at the house later but don’t lock up as unsure if I’ll be staying there or not’.
SHE WANTS ME AT THE HOUSE?!!! Not anything like ‘I’m going to spend more time at home with her to save my relationship I’ll let you know what the plans are’ but that I wanted him round like he was forced into reconciling!?
I know I’m most probably being overly dramatic here but this seems a bit like he was unbothered. And looking back at that time I was definitely being pathetic and doing the pick me dance. I’m so disgusted now we that we don’t have any intimacy.
Unfortunately same year, same shit I still have no courage to speak up about our problems to either leave, or to move forward together in a healthy way (ie show more love and affection/ be more intentional with life plans and start taking action/ be more excited about life and activities together).
I hate what’s become of me.
[This message edited by LittleRedRobin23 at 7:15 AM, Friday, January 10th]
Did not sign up for this shitshow
Together 13 years, no kids.
Me 31, him 35.
He had 4 year physical affair.
Attempting to reconcile but living solidly on the fence.
Squish ( member #79546) posted at 12:01 AM on Friday, January 10th, 2025
Gosh, I go back to messages and get so angry too sometimes. I have to stop myself because I can spiral so easily and stay there for way too long. Honestly so much of what you said I feel and I’m also really having a hard time with the lack of intamacy between us. It’s hurts a lot.
I have no insight to help you. I’m in the same place. My wh had a 3 yr lta.
Sending you love. Will read for insight from others who come along.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 1:45 PM on Friday, January 10th, 2025
How can you move forward in feeling confident to express yourself?
During the first half of his affair I was so afraid of losing my CH I allowed things to happen that were wrong. I let him call the shots.
I was an idiot!
Second half I was in a better position to stand up for myself. Dday2 I was a completely different person and had the guts to stand up to him.
Game changer.
How can we help you to become more confident and able to voice your feelings and thoughts?
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
