SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I would also suggest skipping the MC. As others have said they tend to focus on putting the affair behind you which is a horrible idea. It only festers and it will rear its ugly head again down the road

You could ask him to write out an entire timeline that includes every little detail no matter how minute including Financial transactions and then compare that to what you know

I’m sorry you find yourself here.

Your H remembers, he remembers everything. I would recommend you have him take a polygraph, cancel the MC and find a couples therapist if you’re wanting to go together but you definitely need a foundation of truth. Your H needs to understand this.

Don't start marriage counseling. Marriages don't cheat; people do. In a year or two, if your WH is able to own and fix his shit, marriage counseling might help to strengthen your relationship.

In the meantime, insist that your WH start individual counseling to help him figure out why he would choose to blow-up his own life. Make IC a condition of reconciliation.

I would also recommend insisting that he writes out a detailed timeline of all of his activities. Let him know that you will treat this as an affidavit. Any knew information or discrepancies discovered after this will be considered as immediate grounds for divorce.

If you do decide to go through with marriage counseling, then interview the counselor. Ask them direct and deliberate questions about their personal and professional experience with infidelity. If their answers are not satisfactory to you then don't hire them. Walk out.

In all of my years here on SI, I've read far more horror stories about marriage counseling than positive ones. It's possible, of course, that you might get lucky and find one of the rare ones who has a solid understanding of betrayal trauma. The odds are against it.