SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Since my h and I have been back from traveling I have been working in an HR department. And I had a terrible time in the first unit I was in. The supervisor hated me, and she said things to me that were terrible. She tried to fire me and the higher ups talked with me and moved me. I got actually a better job from many standpoints but it was a lateral move. It just put me in a position with much better visibility. From my coworkers standpoint in that initial they are probably left ri believe I failed, but the issue was I could not work well under the constant bullying.

I will say she chased off the next person who came as well. They had to move her too and this brought an onslaught of issues—-that culminated in me having to testify against this lady.

So on top of everything that department likely has some sort of idea that I am the enemy.

The director of that unit and the supervisor retire tomorrow. They have an interim, but I know my past experience is broader, and I am better able to see a vision for the software and systems they use. I have applied.

But ever since then I feel very anxious and vulnerable. It’s been a long time since I had to be evaluated like this. And I am likely the underdog for a few reasons:

1. She has been in the unit 12 years, and has been pretty battered by management.i think k it would be hard for them to disappoint her.

2. I have not been in a position where my vision and strategic leadership skills have been utilized.

3. I am not sure what the optics/politics are going to be and whether they can believe they can be overcome.

I am pretty sure I will get an interview. And I have prepared and think I have a compelling picture to paint. But sometimes the uncertainty is so painful that I want to maybe withdraw.

I know it at least puts me in a position to signal I am ready to take on more at work, and even if I don’t get the position that’s still a good opportunity. I don’t even think I mind if I don’t land the position, so I am really not sure why I am feeling this way.

I also feel like if I do get it, I would be jerking the rug out from under this woman which potentially makes things look even worse. But in other ways I think she represents the status quo, she has been part of the systemic issue, and I do think that I am the better leader if I can win over the team. My initial plans would be to meet with them individually and find out what is going well, what isn’t, things they wish they could do more of, things the department should do more of, etc, and come up with a matrix of easy wins, short term and long term goals and do all the easy wins immediately.

Their culture needs a major over haul.

I am not sure what I am looking for. But basically, is withdrawing a better choice given how it’s upsetting me for some reason, and the other parts involved.

Do not worry about the other candidates. They need to earn the job just like you, and their time served or experience with management is not your problem or responsibility.

And the company will not think "so nice of HO to withdraw and let Ms.Oldtimer take the job. We should reward her."

It’s a business, and the only person looking out for you is you.

Take the risk. If you get it, then great. And your competency will win them over eventually. And if you don’t, then you will have demonstrated your skills and some of your vision for the team and that may open up other doors.

That said, if you decide the anxiety is not worth it, then protect your mental health. And then maybe start looking elsewhere. It doesn’t sound like the healthiest of work environments….

Is this opportunity worth the mental strain on you?

I also feel like if I do get it, I would be jerking the rug out from under this woman which potentially makes things look even worse

Pretty sure it would not be YOU jerking the rug out from under her. Management have invited people to apply for the position. They will make their own assessment and give it to the person they think best placed to lead the group.

In some sense, you’ll learn whether the leaders are comfortable with the status quo or able to see, as you have, that things need to change.

As my own career has evolved, I have really enjoyed moving to a leadership role. Being part of the decision-making apparatus has made me more engaged in the job and I get more out of it. I think you should want to be in that role, it sounds like you already know some ideas of how to make things better.

Besides, would this lady feel bad for you if she got it?

I am taking in the advice. I do want to make one little change to what I said—-

When I said I haven’t been in a position to showcase these skills, I only mean while I have been here over the last few years. I have served in executive leadership as well as middle leadership.

The reality is I know I can do the job and if it were warded the nervousness would go away completely so the stress of it is short term. I think k I am just surprised at how much it’s affecting me currently. I think it has a lot to do with a lot of my terrible experiences with that department and the optics of all of it.

In some people’s minds over there, I failed and then took the leaders down due to my proximity to the higher uos. Taking the job may look like "okay now that I have burned you down to ashes I can now finally get what I was aiming for" and to boot I knocked the expected leader out who has been there 4 times as long. I am not that diabolical, and I think that I could have an overall positive effect of the culture to the point they will eventually change their perspective.

I am just feeling vulnerable I think.

Worked for the same company numerous decades and went under the microscope numerous times when applying for a new position.

Even though my applications were always successful, there was always an underlying fear I would fail. No one likes to be evaluated but keep in mind the rewards that come with successfully climbing that rung.

Peace

What does 'battered by management' mean? Relying just on the words, as I must at this point, I can't help wondering if the job is a good choice for you - or for anyone else.

Will your bosses appreciate your vision? How likely is it that they'll back your ideas for a new culture?

Don't cast pearls before swine, unless it's a good investment.

Thanks for encouragement- it’s not like me to be stressed- I have had a good career. It’s all this starting over stuff after we came back from our travels.

They want another culture for sure. And battered because I work in a government position so they have to deal with a lot before they can get rid of people. "Battered" because it’s been a toxic work environment. I left there because it was, and they were having trouble keeping people don’t had escalated to stay interviews, a hostile workforce place suit, it got ugly. As I said I testified against them which there could be some people who think that’s great, others seem to not understand the problem in the environment. Maybe less work experience they think it’s normal.