SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

Happy Thankful Thursday Everyone !

This0is0Fine...I hope you enjoyed that time off !!

hikingout...I LOVE your posts...and this one is so AWESOME ! Even though getting older means that I lose my loved ones...it also means that I get to see new loved ones coming into the world . Christmas with those grandbabies is so SPECIAL and MAGICAL isn't it ??!! Our younger children are pretty much done having children of their own...but our older grandchildren are now of child bearing age . That "circle of life" keeps going and while I am still on Earth I am going to ENJOY them as much as they let me !! This is the FIRST thing I am THANKFUL for !!!

Pippin...I have never been skiing. It sounds very intimidating to me !! For you to be skiing is an awesome feat to me ! These old bones of mine would retaliate big time if I tried to put them through that !! The highest point we have in NOLA is "monkey hill". It is a man-made mound that is in the Audubon Zoo !! When I was younger...it was just a mound that we could run up and down on. Now it has other things put in for kids to enjoy...but to ME...the simple mound was still the best!

South Louisiana actually had a BLIZZARD last year! Of all my years on this Earth...that was the FIRST time I ever saw a blizzard first hand . EVERYTHING shut down for a few days...but once the snow melted it all went back to normal...much nicer than a hurricane! But my gosh...when I opened my kitchen curtains the morning after when it was still COLD...and saw all the SPARKLES in the snow...it was just GORGEOUS! I now understand that phrase...the quiet hush of the newfallen snow. It was MAGICAL . I don't want it anymore though...Cajuns and snow don't mix too well !! Because it happened during Mardi Gras season...almost all of the snowmen/women were decked out in purple, green, and gold over here...very cool!

Speaking of Mardi Gras...the season is upon us again my friends . Although Mardi Gras day is different every year...the official start to the Mardi Gras season is always on Twelfth Night...January 6th . We traded red and green from Christmas to purple, green, and gold...overnight . Fruitcake has been replaced with King cake! New Orleans has already had its first parade too! I am very THANKFUL that I live in South Louisiana...in case anyone didn't already know !! Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler !!

My heart is HAPPY again and my soul is at PEACE . I truly never thought I would be saying that...after that HORRIBLE Dday...but here I am...all warm and fuzzy and stuff !! I have always been a more positive person...but Dday threw me for a loop...even more so than when I experienced it in my 1st M. I was determined that I was going to OWN this A...and that became my mantra from the beginning. I am sure MANY people at that time got sick and tired of reading that ...but I didn't know any other way than to confront that beast head on and SLAY it.

As I researched how to be happy again...I found that positivity was the key . I knew how to do positivity...but I didn't know HOW to get back to that point . That was where the vets on here helped me . They gave great tips...and some were out of the box a little...but as they often write on here...I took the advice that worked for ME...and left the rest . Once I made a little advance because of being positive...it helped me so much that I just wanted to do MORE of that! I am so THANKFUL for the people on this site who have helped me !! Most of them don't even come on here anymore...which is a shame...but I do understand. It is really HARD to come on an infidelity site when you are no longer IN infidelity. They passed on the torch though so that the rest of us who are on here can show what we learned from them .

I am heading into my 12th A season...and to be honest...I had to count to figure out what number it was . I can remember when I would start the New Year feeling so SAD because I knew A season would be coming up in a few months. That doesn't even bother me anymore . Now I look forward to what this next year will bring! Will I lose weight? Probably not . Will I lose more loved ones? Probably so . But whatever the future holds...I am FREE from infidelity...and that...my friends...is what I am very THANKFUL for today !!!

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

[This message edited by Want2BHappyAgain at 3:53 PM, Thursday, January 8th]

My heart is HAPPY again and my soul is at PEACE

Very good to hear and your journey certainly inspired mine on the way to happiness and peace!

That first five years of recovery was tough, but in the rear view mirror now, those moments make me appreciate the hard work that got us to the other side of it.

And your update reminded me, I need to experience Mardi Gras at least once in life -- maybe my Mrs. and I can aim for a trip to New Orleans in 2027.

Time off was great! I'm very thankful for the rest and relaxation. It's now time to get back to work.

I'm very thankful for some good weather on the mountains to support some skiing.

W's birthday this week.

I didn't see her near her birthday in 1966 because we didn't have classes in January. We were very good friends on her birthday in 1967 (and I was in love with her, and she had fallen for me in her own way), so this is the 60th time we've been together on her birthday. I was in a hospital in 1967, too sick to talk to her, but she was in communication with my mom, so we were thinking about each other and, therefore, together.

So come to think of it, I'm grateful to be alive, and I'm grateful to be with plainsong, and I'm grateful to be together on her birthday for the 60th time.

Man, 60 years ago I had no idea what being together that long would be.

GOOD morning everyone !!

Oldwounds...it seems like we inspired each other then ! I sure looked forward to your posts and threads my Dear Friend because they always were more POSITIVE than not!!

Mardi Gras is definitely an experience in NOLA !! It can be VERY congested in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras...but it is not so bad at other spots . Another experience is going to Fred's in Mamou on Mardi Gras Day . This place is in Southwest Louisiana...and the Cajuns there keep this very different Mardi Gras experience alive and going strong too! Mardi Gras parades are all over Louisiana during the Mardi Gras season...so now is a great time to decide where you want to go and ENJOY the "Greatest free show on Earth" !

This0is0Fine...another skier...cool ! ENJOY it...I have heard it is fun...but I am too OLD to put my body through something like that...and too scared as well !! I will take a bayou with alligators over a mountain with snow ANY day !!

sisoon...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to plainsong !!! What an AMAZING milestone...congratulations on the length of time TOGETHER !!! I think this is going to be my post for today...THANK YOU for the inspiration !

I am very THANKFUL for being with my H for all these years !! Many people know about the dopamine hormone and the HIGH it gives. The serotonin hormone may not be as intense with the high from dopamine...but this "happy hormone" LASTS whereas the dopamine hormone fades over time. I definitely remember that dopamine HIGH when my H and I first started dating . But NOW I also get to experience the very satisfying serotonin high because it gets better over time !

We had been married for several decades when my H had his A. The dopamine HIGH he experienced from his A was quite intoxicating to him...as it is for a lot of Waywards. The dopamine skewed his thinking and my H said he felt like "King of the World" for having TWO women who loved him and he was able to satisfy both of them . It lasted until he found out on Dday that I was leaving him after he confessed about his A. The next day...when he got a reply to his NC message to the adultery co-conspirator...and he realized the adultery co-conspirator had LIED to him as much as he did to her...whatever residual dopamine HIGH he had STOPPED abruptly . God gave me the Blessing of watching that all unfold when reality set in over what had actually happened. I'm still so THANKFUL for that...Thank You God !!!

Needless to say...I wasn't experiencing any of these "happy hormones" for a while...this shows from my username. Ironically though...my H got another dopamine HIGH after I told him that maybe I would consider R. It was like he had another new relationship with us starting over in our Mv2.0. This helped in my recovery because my H took everything I threw at him in my anger phase and kept his love for me showing despite my contempt toward him.

Around year 3 I started to think about taking D off of the table. Then we started to experience the serotonin hormone again . As we both turned TOWARD each other again...life became even more beautiful than ever . This didn't happen because of the A...it happened because WE did the work to make the rest of our lives together the BEST we could have it be . The A will ALWAYS be a part of our M...but it won't DEFINE our M. WE get to decide what defines it...and the definition is RESPECT . For US...when we respect each other...all of the other feelings fall into place .

So here we are...another decade of Mv2.0 under our belt...and that serotonin is as STRONG as ever !! My 1st H and I weren't married long enough for the serotonin to set in. I don't care. Making the decision to D him was the BEST for me and I have NO regrets . But I am so THANKFUL that I decided to R with my 2nd H...and I definitely have NO regrets with that decision either !! Only God knows if we will be able to look back after 60 years of being together like sisoon and plainsong have . But whatever time we have left...we will be rocking that serotonin all the way !!!

Happy Thankful Thursday everyone !!

I am enjoying this balmy weather right now...but preparing for a FREEZE coming early next week. It is hard to believe that the temperature will drop over 50 degrees from what it is right now...but life sure does give us these disruptions every now and then so that we can be THANKFUL when things go back smoothly again .

My H's A was certainly a disruption in our life. It is hard to believe it now...but I had gotten to a point where I just wanted the PAIN to go away...and for the first time in my life I was contemplating suicide . Thank God that He intervened...and I was able to overcome that feeling. Even a "Pollyanna" like me can succumb to something that would have been inconceivable before being put in infidelity HELL. I am very THANKFUL that I have had this positive attitude all my life...because I truly believe that positivity HELPED me to recover from this very negative experience. Of course...my positivity stems from the relationship I have with God. He promises to never forsake us...and He never has !

As I was trying to find that path to being HAPPY again...thinking positive thoughts definitely kept me on that path . Obviously that did NOT include thinking about the A! When a negative thought came about...I would think about WHY that thought was there. Then I would try to find a way to get it OUT of my head. Most of the time it was questions about what happened during the A. I would ask my H these questions...and most of the time his answers would help to calm my mind. I also had so much other information that could corroborate his answers...and that was something that I was THANKFUL for too . I remember asking the SAME questions over and over again...and was relieved to find out this is normal for a person experiencing a trauma like infidelity.

As my limbic system...or lizard brain...started to calm down...the positivity started to become more prominent . I believe that is the MAIN difference between my two experiences with my two husbands. I wasn't able to get my limbic system to calm down with my first H. The reason was because he never stopped his cheating ways. I am so THANKFUL that I went for D with him! It wasn't easy...especially with a young child...but it was way BETTER than staying with a person who made my body be on alert all the time. That is NOT a way to live!!

THIS time though...just WOW ! My H told me early on in R that he was going to have an "attitude of gratitude"...and he was going to make it his life's mission to give me my "happily ever after" . I have often written about how ALL fairytales have some type of trauma in the story...but in the end...they live "happily ever after" . Just like Vivian in "Pretty Woman"...I wanted that fairytale ! MANY people on here gently advised me that going for the fairytale was not realistic. I should try instead to have an authentic M. I agreed that our M needed to be authentic...but I wanted BOTH!!! If I was going to dream...I was going to dream BIG !! I am so THANKFUL I went for it...because I am now living my fairytale...and it is in having an authentic M!!

Thankful for the NFL playoffs and the current remaining teams without giving away too much of my fandom. :)