Shatteredbylies (original poster new member #85641) posted at 4:33 AM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2025
Spouse and I were finally in a decent spot after learning of his EA just before thanksgiving. We are in couples counseling, and individual therapy. Trying to focus on reconciliation and as I’m folding laundry I found a towel that is not ours. I’m desperately trying to figure out where it came from but there’s no way it was ours or our parents who have stayed here. Now I’m waiting for him to come back from hockey to confront him about it. What do I do?!
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:25 AM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2025
Take a deep breath. This could be anything. It could be a towel from another player or your worst nightmare. It's ok to jump to conclusions because infidelity is trauma.
What do you think is possible? It's ok to word vomit here. What do you want to believe or is the anxiety over this issue enough for you to realize the A was a deal-breaker?
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 3:29 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2025
We see danger and meaning in everything when our world has been turned upside down and shaken into something unrecognizable. leafields is right: It's okay.
Did you ask him?
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Shatteredbylies (original poster new member #85641) posted at 3:32 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2025
I couldn't wait for him to get home so I sent a text with a picture asking where it came from. He explained that it was one he purchased at Target when he forgot his shower stuff before hockey one day and it was in his hockey laundry. He asked if I was okay and immediately came home to be supportive.
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 4:42 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2025
I'd say that's a pretty good outcome. 
You doing okay today?
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Shatteredbylies (original poster new member #85641) posted at 5:24 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2025
I'm okay today. I wasn't prepared for the wave of emotions and it took some time to fall asleep. It really is like taking a step forward and two back each day.
