So, I told our adult sons about their Dad’s 21 year affair/relationship on Thursday.
Without doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
They have both said that they’ve only ever seen an amazing man and Father and never seen any issues between us (my H says that’s because there weren’t any) so this is a massive shock to them.
My eldest son is obviously massively hurt and upset. He wanted to speak to his Dad and told him that he still loves him but he’s incredibly disappointed in what he’s done and the trust has gone. But he said that he won’t abandon him, as he’s still his Dad. He wants us to remain civil whatever path we take after this.
My youngest son is again massively hurt and upset but he’s angry as well. Again, tells me that he still loves him but he hasn’t been able to talk to his Dad yet. He’s feeling more angry about it.
I’ve always put my sons first (I was a SAHM for years) so we’re very close. They know I’m here for them and we are talking all the time. It devastates me to see them so shocked, let down and upset.
They’ve both told the people closest to them. And they have other people that I’ve told who they can reach out to.
Anyone with any advice for dealing with adult kids when they find out please? It’s obviously completely different than if they were much younger.
And, because this OW has been in my H’s life since my sons were under 3, they’re feeling it extra due to the length of time.
Thanks in advance.
