I forgave her at the jump, and I meant it. I had to tell her a few times before she believed me.
It was as much about me giving her the room to be better and do better, and me some room to work with on deciding what I was going to do next.
For me, resentment is drinking poison expecting the other person to die. Whether I stayed or left, I needed my peace.
Ten years later, we're working on my wife forgiving herself. I think she has made progress, but I kind of need her to be good with her at some point too.
While the behavior in an A is hauntingly similar, healing is different and very individual. It is kind of about what YOU need.
I can say my wife ran with the grace I offered, she never thought she would get a fair shot. I understand, infidelity is as unfair as it gets.
For us, it helped (when we were ready) to both be all in on the rebuild.
The all-in didn't begin in earnest for two years, although, we kept reaching out during the tougher days.
